Brainstorm discusses Science and Wannabe Science
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November 18, 2021
Pronouns...

I was made aware today that someone in my workplace now goes by "they" rather than "he".

To be perfectly fair, that someone did not ask me to use "they" as a particular pronoun. I was nudged in that direction by others, and to be even more fair, I've instantly found it extremely difficult to use this "pronoun of choice". And frankly, it had nothing to do with "a gender", per se, or in fact, any politics.

Let me explain.

I worked with this someone for a while now ("this someone" or "this person" will be my choice of words from now one).

I've always found "this person" a good sport, a bit edgy - in a emo sense - but for the most part quite pleasant to be around. Even when one day, out of blue, "this person" showed up in an actual dress.

There was no stereotyping of what a woman "should" look like. Just a dress. Edgy, in a emo sense. Perfectly in agreement with the character of "this person" - or at least with my up-to-date perception of "this person's" character. And guess what? I actually loved the way "this person" wore the dress and said as much, without knowing any of the "pronoun"-nonsense or someone nudging me to do it.

Yet, today, when "nudged", I've found remarkably difficult to refer to "this person" using "they".

Why?

As I said, it has nothing to do with "the gender" or politics. It has to do with the fact that pronouns have meaning and, as such, a purpose in every day conversation.

For me, "they" as pronoun marks plurality and I've always used it as such - independent of any gender. While I am happy to avoid gender-relevant pronouns, such as "he" or "she", I refuse to change meaning to the word based on, well, someone' subjective reality - or even more precisely, I refuse to change widely accepted, meaningful word and the way I and billion others use it every day based on the demands of the "nudge" unit.

Funny thing is, if "this person" decided to show up wearing a dress every single day, I probably would not care. Now, suddenly, I am required to adapt completely new awareness, "reality" and approach, perhaps even, re-learn the language just to achieve...what exactly?

Well, as far as I can say, it will achieve nothing much but pandering to the crowd. Hence, I will not do it.

There are ways to be respectful without giving away the meaningful; when everything is "they", then nothing is "they".

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